Deep Thoughts · List · Pointless and Incomprehensible

Surviving Freshman Year: Prescriptions for the Perplexed Proselyte

  Reinvent yourself. Change your name to Wendelmoet Jones and adopt the mannerisms of Cecil Vyse. Record ensuing experiences in your journal, and see #7. Don’t just bring a car to campus. Bring a hearse. It will come in handy for transporting dirty laundry, crates of books, and the bones of bumbling bureaucrats. Decorate your…… Continue reading Surviving Freshman Year: Prescriptions for the Perplexed Proselyte

List · Snark Attack

15 Absolutely Valid Reasons to End a Relationship

1. You don’t fit my aesthetic. Your personal brand is Post-Morality My Little Pony™ and mine is Machiavellian Dairymaid™. 2. I can’t stand the way you eat asparagus. 3. You think Jack and Rose is a better couples’ costume than Sarah and the Goblin King. With me as Bowie, naturally. 4. My dog hates you, and…… Continue reading 15 Absolutely Valid Reasons to End a Relationship